This brown carton from Hershey’s likes to point out that it’s good for you with text such as; “2% reduced fat” and “One third less fat than whole chocolate milk”. The front of the carton also states that this is made with milk from cows that are not treated with the RBST growth hormone, which makes them produce more milk. RBST is banned in the European Union and our friends across the great pond in the USA don’t trust it either. This drink is packed with Vitamins A + D and is Ultra Heat Treated for long life. All this healthy sounding stuff considered, I’ve never liked Hershey’s chocolate. I tried to point this out to Cinabar when she passed me this carton with an evil glint in her eyes, even though I knew that it wouldn’t make the slightest bit of difference.
On ripping off the straw from the back of the carton and popping it into the small piece of silver foil on the top, I noticed some text that said “shake well”. I must admit, I did shake the carton a little before opening, but “shake well” makes me wonder if it should be shook to washing machine top speed or tied to the back of a galloping horse. First sip of this drink concluded that I’d shook it enough to burn my eyelashes off with the sheer sweetness of the drink. The chocolate milk itself tastes a little bit like the sweetened centre of a Smarty, only times by one hundred and a bit. After a few moments of uncomfortable face twisting I started to get used to the drink’s sweetness, but my eyebrows still hit the ceiling each time I chanced the straw. Once used to that painstaking syrupy sweet taste, this drink doesn’t taste half bad, until you get to the bottom of the carton and realise that as you didn’t tie it to the back of your car and do seventy laps on a race track all the remainder of the syrupy sweetness is languishing there. If shook well the sweetness of this drink could possibly kill the old and infirm or make infants run round in circles for forty-eight hours straight. Once I’d peeled myself off the ceiling I was quite happy I’d finished Hershey’s chocolate milk and went in search of a beer… After all, I deserved it!