Saturday, 7 May 2011

Brain Licker (Gardenlands) [By @SpectreUK]


Read the instructions on this small plastic bottle. That’s all I can say. Well, I guess it wouldn’t be much of a blog post if I did just write that. I guess I have to try this super sour drink, though I’ve just looked at the bottle and found out that this 60ml plastic bottle holds no less than ten servings! Yes, that’s 6ml per serving. How do you measure that out at work, in a ballpoint pen lid? Each serving has 86kJ energy and 2.8g of sugar. There is enough syrup, sugar, acids, flavourings and E numbers in one serving to keep several small children running for a whole week. :-D

And now I have to taste it… Pulling off the cap I found the top of the bottle was a roll on deodorant ball. This made it almost impossible to get a sufficient amount of the pinkish liquid out of the small bottle to get any kind of sour hit. I lent my head back as far as it would go to lick the ball and only gained some funny looks from my colleagues. I licked the ball with the bottle in an upright position and tried not to get any liquid on my shirt. I squeezed the bottle to try and get more out (even though it warns on the label not to squeeze), but this made no difference either. What liquid I did get out of the bottle tasted a bit like sour strawberries, but I suspect kids will have more fun trying to get the liquid out of the bottle rather than drinking it. I became very frustrated in a short space of time as my tongue became sore from licking dry plastic. The more liquid kids manage to get out of the bottle will give them sufficient energy to get more and more out. At least they will find a way to burn off the sugar high!
By Spectre

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