The final tradition of the Blackpool trinity of Tower, Fish & Chips & Rock is - well - rock!
This is more ordinarily brought home instead of consumed at the sea-side and so is only just now getting reviewed. Most people probably don't taste the rock that they buy, and consequently most people probably don't finish the rock they receive. I admit that here I wasn't expecting much - buying what is probably last season's rock for 'six for a pound' and going purely on the novelty flavours goes against every snack-head instinct I've developed over these past years.
So here goes. I thought I'd start nice, then get nasty and finish with the traditional to at least cleanse the palate a little.
First we have the Kinder Egg. This was a white stick with a brown swirl and basically tasted like a sweeter rock with a yucky chocolate taste lurking at the back. Nothing special, didn't have to spit it out, and it was crispy but not hard.
Next up we have the one alcoholic rock I purchased - Prosecco. They had lots of ales and ciders but very few wines. I think this is because they struggled to get an authentic flavour as this had neither fizz, nor a wine like taste. This one was a bit fruity, and too soft for my liking. Less pro-secco and more amateur-secco.
Next up was one of the two I was suspicious of -Hot Chocolate. Would they even attempt the heat? Or the chocolate? Turns out this is just a stronger version of the evil background Kinder Egg flavor, like a hit of pound shop chocolate with sugar on top. It had a very lingering aftertaste which caused me to try the next flavour with a little more bravery than I'd have expected.
Ah Fish & Chips - what had drawn me to the seaside was now causing genuine fear... Would this be vinegar flavoured rock? When I opened it I discovered that it smelled like lemon? It was very, very soft, and upon chewing tasted like lemon too. Did this end up with the wrong label? Are they simulating neither fish nor chips, but the squeeze of lemon on top? The closest to edible so far, but not even close to a win.
I'd saved the presumably strong Red Bull variety for after the vinegar, but I don't think I needed it to rescue me after all. Without a hint of taurine in sight this smells and tastes like the normal rainbow rock, maybe a bit milder. This was almost nice. Almost. Has letters through it saying RED BULL unlike all the other ones. I suspect that the makers of the drink won't be bringing a lawsuit - unless it's something to do with not actually being connected to Red Bull at all.
To finish we have Traditional Pink - This is as expected, minty and too sweet. Again this has letters through it saying BLACKPOOL. Again - just a bit too sweet and crumbly to be actually nice. Pleasant enough. I'd put this in second place to the Red Bull, which are the only two I'd realistically encourage other people to try. I did leave the other flavours in the communal snack area at work and will see if anyone is brave enough to find out that the fish one is actually lemon.
I paid a pound, and I got a pounds worth of sugar, additives and memories. Seems fair.