Hot Turnip – By Fu Chi (Day In Supermarket, Birmingham) [By @SpectreUK]

The title of this snack amused my childlike brain. I obviously hadn’t had enough fun offering people a taste of Makok. I took my little jar of Hot Turnip home and immediately stated to Cinabar that this was “a right Turnip for the blog (sorry)!” The ingredients included; turnip (it would be a bit odd if it wasn’t, considering the title), soybean sauce, water, chilli, sugar, sesame oil, malic acid, and lactic acid. I proceeded on opening the jar and offering Cinabar a good bite of my Hot Turnip. We were both taken aback by the stench. Blood red in colour and chunky, my Hot Turnip stank like jogger’s feet stuck up a Badger’s backside dipped in hot chilli puke. Unsurprisingly, Cinabar declined on putting my Hot Turnip in her mouth. She also proclaimed that if I ate any of it, she would not kiss me for the rest of the day. I wasn’t sure if I believed her, so I decided to risk it... for blog and country! I must admit, I may have held my breath at first whilst I pushed my Hot Turnip into my mouth. There was a slight turnip taste to start with, then a full on burning chilli heat, which left my mouth ablaze. To be honest with you, whilst eating it, my Hot Turnip didn’t taste all that bad. It was the aftertaste that really got me. It was like turnip mixed with stinky feet á la Badger’s chilli bum juice. My Hot Turnip did repeat on me until late on in the evening. It took me two brushings of my teeth for Cinabar to even stand in the same room as me. As predicted, Cinabar refused point blank to kiss me for the rest of that day and a little into the next. Honestly, the things I do for you fair blog readers...

By Spectre